


can't be happy without you around

by celestialquill, obfonteri (aspiringenjolras), starsmora



Category: Guardians of the Galaxy (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Developing Relationship, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Friendship, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Like.... months after, Post-Movie: Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-23
Updated: 2018-05-23
Packaged: 2019-05-10 10:46:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,547
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14735502
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/celestialquill/pseuds/celestialquill, https://archiveofourown.org/users/aspiringenjolras/pseuds/obfonteri, https://archiveofourown.org/users/starsmora/pseuds/starsmora
Summary: Sometimes it's the emotionally stunted ones who feel the most.





	can't be happy without you around

**Author's Note:**

> So, this is a pretty much straight copy/paste from an RP between me (Rocket) and my friends Lexxi (Gamora) and Michelle (Peter). It's been cleaned up and edited to the best of my ability, but it might be a little awkward to read straight through. Still, we're really excited about the story we told, and we wanted to share it with everyone. We hope you enjoy!

“Hey uh.... guys?” Rocket called toward the back of the ship. “Anyone know why the nav is down?” He slammed on the control panel on the arm of his seat, but nothing happened. “I ain’t got eyes on our location.”

"It's not working?" Gamora shouted down to Rocket, looking over at Peter and rolling her eyes. "Yeah, it is weird. I thought you were the captain of this ship." She muttered the last bit, shaking her head again before walking over to Rocket, looking down at the control panel and touching it with her fingers. "We must be experiencing some kind of interference with the transmitter. So...I mean to tell you we're kind of lost in the middle of nowhere right now, unless you can find somewhere to put down on." 

“What do you think, oh Captain my Captain?” Rocket called back to Quill, slight mocking in his voice. “We passed a jump to an uninhabited planet a little while ago, I could probably get us back there.” 

Peter rolled his eyes at Rocket's mocking. "Yeah, that sounds good. Then we can figure what's going on."

"Oh, so you're going to help?" Gamora asked Peter, raising one eyebrow and folding her arms across her chest. Her fingers drummed irritably against her elbows. Lately, the two hadn't exactly been fighting, but they hadn't quite been getting along either in the weeks and months after Yondu. "We'll figure it out, Rocket. Go back there. It's our best bet. At least we'll know we are on a planet instead of floating in the middle of nowhere."

“Great, on it!” Rocket pulled the ship into a hard turn, sharply angled as he changed direction and zoomed off back the way they came. “Keep an eye out for the jump.”

Peter looked over at Gamora. "Yeah...why wouldn't I?" He asked, a little confused. He knew he'd done something wrong, but he wasn't sure what yet.

"It's just...you're supposed to be the captain but sometimes you don't really act like one. I'm the one who came over to check on Rocket's problem." When Rocket pulled the ship into the hard turn, she lost her footing and went barreling right into Peter, sending the two of them toppling over each other. "Rocket! Next time, remember to be more careful with your turns! Are you trying to get us all killed?" Looking down at Peter for a moment, her eyes connected with his in an intense stare. It lasted for a minute, and she wasn't sure when she snapped out of her little haze but whenever she did, she stepped back away from Peter. In reality it had been only a few minutes but it was the closest they had been in a while. "Rocket, don't miss the jump! I think...I think it's coming up soon, I can't tell."

“Yes. I very clearly am trying to kill you all,” he deadpanned. Rocket glanced over his shoulder at them and made a face when he saw them practically on top of each other. “Ick, is this really the right time?” He laughed and steered toward the jump. “Alright here we gooo!”

"We weren't even doing anything." Peter muttered, already missing how close they just were. He fell down again as Rocket steered toward the jump, and decided to just stay on the floor until they landed.

"Right time for what?" Gamora asked, pulling a face and shrugging her shoulders. "I don't know what you're talking about, Rocket. Peter and I are just...friends. We've been through this." She didn't want to look over at Peter and see the wounded puppy look on his face. She hated that look so much but she wasn't sure why. She never would be. "Why are you laying on the floor?" She asked Peter before shaking her head, stepping towards the front of the ship and grabbing onto the back of Rocket's seat to steady herself.

Peter thought he should probably be used to her saying that by now, since she'd said it so many times. Well, he was, but it didn't mean it hurt any less. She was probably still annoyed about him saying they have an unspoken thing. "I fell again and I don't feel like gettin' up right now. Are we there yet? I can't see anything."

 As if in answer to his question, the ship hurtled through the jump point, and reluctantly, Rocket slowed down as they flew toward the surface. “Now we are,” he said.

"At least you don't have to deal with him asking you if we're there yet every ten minutes." Gamora reassured Rocket, reaching out one hand hesitantly before dropping it at her side. "Where are we?" Looking around, she concentrated on looking everywhere except at Peter. Someone had to stay focused on this mission, even if it just came down to her and Rocket.

Peter finally pulled himself up, his hair was sticking up more than it usually did. He noticed how she was seemingly avoiding looking at him. He was missing how close they used to be, it wasn't that they weren't close now but he felt like he'd messed things up with her somehow. "Yay! Finally. I thought we'd never get there."

Rocket just rolled his eyes and slowly steered the ship down to a landing. The planet was mostly sand as far as he could see. “Let’s hope this goes better than Berhert,” he joked.

"With you flying, we should be okay, captain." She grinned a little at Rocket, tapping the back of his chair. It was a behavior she picked up a while ago; kind of like petting him but not even close at the same time. It was just more or less an acknowledgement of his effort. "What could possibly go wrong? The planet looks like it's full of sand. The worst that could happen is we sink to our deaths because it's that kind of sand that swallows things up."

He was probably more hurt than he should've been by her calling Rocket 'Captain'. He knew she wasn't trying to insult him, even if she was mad at him for whatever reason. Still, he briefly hoped he did sink to his death in the sand. "I mean, we didn't crash so that's a good sign. I guess it helps that we weren't arguing this time."

“Guess so.” Rocket turned off the engines and hopped out of his seat. “Dying by quicksand would be pretty lame. Anyway, guess we better figure out what to do. I say we send Drax and Mantis and Groot to see what’s around here. We’ll stay with the ship.” Maybe he was taking the Captain thing a little too seriously.

"Yeah, sounds like a good plan." Staying on the ship was the last thing he wanted to do, but he didn't feel like arguing with Rocket for once.

"Okay." The idea of staying on the ship wasn't her favorite, especially knowing she was stuck on the ship with Peter. It wasn't such a bad thing but what if he tried to get her to dance again? "Whatever you think, Rocket." She rubbed her eyes and yawned. "You can get in some quality alone time."

“You two can go outside or whatever, just stay close.” Rocket huffed and opened up a utility box for some tools. “I’ll fix this.”

He wasn't sure going outside was a good idea. Staying close would definitely be awkward. He felt like Gamora hated him now, or at maybe not hate, but she didn't seem to like him these days.

Gamora sighed a little bit, closing her eyes and gritting her teeth. She wasn't sure going outside with Peter was going to be a good thing; she hadn't been alone with him since Berhert when they went on that walk together, and she held his hands. "I don't see how going outside is really going to help, but...fine. Peter come on. Let's take a walk." She looked at him, tipping her head in the direction of the ship's exit. "Let's give Rocket some space."

Rocket watched them for a long moment with a smug expression and then walked back to the nav panel. “Don’t kill each other,” he said. “Oh and Quill, leave your music here, I wanna play it while I work.”

"Uh, yeah... okay. A walk sounds good." He avoided looking at her and turned to Rocket. "Alright, I'll leave it for ya." It wasn't like he would really need it out there anyway. He gave Rocket the Zune. If he didn't know better, he'd think that Rocket was just trying to make him and Gamora to talk.

Leaning down to Rocket, she whispered in his ear: "For the record, I'm going to kill you for making me do this." Leaning away from him, she glared at him before sighing and turning towards the ship's exit. "Let's go, Peter. Come on. The faster we get off here, the easier it'll be for Rocket to focus on fixing the Nav so we can get out of here."

Rocket turned and gave her an innocent look. “I ain’t got a clue what you’re talking about.” He smirked.

He turned towards the exit, too. This was gonna be awkward, but there was no way he was getting out of this. He wanted to be mad at Rocket, for making him and Gamora talk to each other, but they really did need to. "Yeah, okay. I'm right behind ya."

She made an irritated sound in Rocket's direction, glaring at him again before walking away. "Okay...hurry up." She muttered to Peter, not waiting but instead leaping out of the ship and dusting off the sand from her pants. The place reminded her of somewhere she had been before. It wasn't a place that the others had been to except for her, and maybe Nebula. "Peter, are you coming?" She kept kicking up sand out of stress.

As they left, Rocket returned to his work. He clicked the Zune on and music filled the ship. He winced at the tinny sound. If he had time, maybe he’s fix the speakers too. But first, the nav. The display seemed to be working fine, but it wasn’t tracking their location. He could see a general star chart and nothing else. There had to be something in the connection with the interplanetary network.

Peter watched her kick up the sand, glad that she wasn't kicking him though that might change soon. He wasn't sure what to say to her. She didn't seem like she was really in a mood to talk, especially not to him.

Turning to look over at Peter she bit her lip and grunted. "So...I guess...we need to talk." She forced the words to come out of her mouth. More than anyone except maybe Rocket she hated to talk about her feelings. She hated even having them. "How are you? Since...you know, everything that happened." It had been months since Yondu. Why had it taken her this long to ask? Remembering why it did hurt. 

"I'm.... good, I guess. Better than I was, anyway." He answered, finally looking back at her. "Which...isn't saying much, really."

"I'm going to take a rock and throw it at Rocket's head." She grunted under her breath. This was too hard. She didn't like it. What made it kind of worse was how it seemed that the raccoon was enjoying it. "Okay that's...good. Glad that you're okay...ish." She wasn't sure which one of them was going to really try talking first, but all she could think of doing was fighting Rocket for making her have this conversation in the first place.

He pretended not to hear her say that she wanted to pick up a rock and throw it at Rocket's head. She would probably want to throw one at his too soon. "Yeah... thanks for asking." Her asking that meant she still cared, at least a little bit. "So, uh.... are you...mad at me? 'Cause I kinda feel like I did something."

"Do you ever wonder when your last words might be your last words to someone else?" She turned to look at Peter out of the corner of her eye a bit. "You never know when someone's words are going to be their last. You couldn't have known with...you know. Yondu." Turning to face Peter, she folded her arms over her chest, her mouth and mind running ahead of her without her realizing it. "You hurt me." Saying the words out loud made them sting, and she bit the inside of her lip. No tears today, not for him or her or anyone. "Months ago. You hurt me when we were on your father's planet and you were able to move past it, and I was too, but it still hurts. I still hear what you said. When you and I fought...and you yelled at me. Yelled at me and told me about how you finally found your family. It didn't make me feel wanted. It still doesn't. You never really apologized for it but I never wanted to bother you because you lost Yondu, and I know he was a father figure to you but..." She trailed off, looking down. "I'm going to kill Rocket, I swear." Huffing, she leaned back against the ship. "You don't know what it's been like for me. You know, but you don't really know at the same time. My sister and I are trying to be better, but she's gone off to hunt down our adoptive father who's absolutely lost his mind years ago...and who also wants to destroy the galaxy. I had to stand there while the rest of my family was killed on my home planet. Then I spent almost twenty years under his rule. I got away from him when we all met up, I got the family I wanted, and then you just made it seem like it didn't really matter. You know the rest of us almost died fighting your father, and then I almost had to live with you dying and..." She looked away from him. "I don't like this."

He stayed silent for awhile as he listened to her. He still felt guilty about saying that. He wasn't even sure what had made him say those words. He hadn't even really meant them, he wished he could take those words back. At this point 'I'm sorry' just didn't seem it would be enough. He knew they wouldn't be. Hearing her talk about her having to watch her whole family get destroyed just made him feel worse, but he thought he kind of deserved it for what he'd said. He hated himself for making her feel unwanted, for making it seem like none of them were important to him. They were one of the only reasons he was able to fight back against his father. "Gamora, I... I'm such an idiot. I don't even know why I said that. It was so stupid. I don't know why I didn't- I shouldn't have made it seem I- that I didn't want you, that you're not... important to me. That none of you are. I mean... memories of you guys... that's one of the only reasons I was able to fight my dad. When he was trying to make me think that I didn't need any of you. I should've- I should've thought about what you've been through... I don't know why I- I don't...I don't know how I can make things right."

"It doesn't really matter." She said after a minute, shaking her head. "I'm so mad at Rocket. He knew I didn't want to talk to you about this, and the only reason he knew was because he heard me talking to myself about it one night on the ship while you were asleep. You are an idiot, Peter. I don't know why what you said hurt so much but it did, and it stuck in my head. It's just been eating at me for a long time. You made it seem like it was you and then us. We're supposed to be a team. You call yourself the captain but I'm the one who checks up on everyone, not you. Like I said, I don't want to be the captain, and it is your ship but...I don't know. I sound stupid. Why does it feel like you only want to be a part of the team when you want to be?" The words exploded out of her mouth fiercely. "You're not the only one with daddy issues! And...and...I know you lost a lot, okay? You went through so much but why am I trying to be the peacemaker for everyone? Why does that have to be me? I know you and Rocket have clashing personalities. You two won't ever really see eye to eye, but he lost Yondu, too. He might've not known him as long, but remember how he cried at the funeral? I supported you then but where was the support for him? We've all got our own issues, Peter. I just...I just wish you were able to think of the rest of us, too, but maybe that's just the human half of you being selfish."

"It probably hurt as much as it did 'cause I was being a stupid jerk. I don't know, it's not that I- I only want to be part of the team when I wanna be. You don't sound stupid. You're right to be mad at me. I'm mad at myself... I'm a lousy captain, and friend." He looked down as he listened to her again, wishing he would sink to his death into the sand. He felt terrible about not trying to comfort Rocket. He was too busy thinking about all the times he said how much he hated Yondu. It was true when he said it then. The guy had kicked him around for years. But then he said he was sorry for not doing anything of it right. "I... it doesn't have to be you. It should be me...I'm sorry I've made it seem like it should be you. I do remember- I should've supported him, but I was just a jerk. Maybe you're right...I don't know." He looked back up at her. "I don't expect ya to forgive me for any of this...I know I don't deserve it."

"I mean, that's not why it hurts..." She looked away and was thankful to change the subject. "I do sound stupid but it's okay, it's not your fault..." She didn't even feel herself move but suddenly she was standing in front of him, unintentionally grabbing his hands with her own. "You're not a lousy friend. You're just having a tough time...with having so many new friends. I know a lot was thrown on us in only the past couple months. Especially Rocket. He finally found someone who understood him for maybe the first time and that got taken away from him, you know? I know it costed you a lot too, just know that it wasn't only you who got hurt. It just gets tiring that I'm always having to check on everyone. Being the logical one sometimes is exhausting. I want to stay mad at you but for some reason I can't so...here we are. You're not a bad person, Peter. You're just...going through a lot. I'm sorry." She rested her head beneath his chin and closed her eyes. "Do you remember when we danced together on your father's planet?"

"I just feel bad, ya know? All I could think about is how many times I told Yondu I hated him. I was being selfish, I guess. I'm sorry, too. For everything." He was surprised at how close she got to him, but he wasn't going to complain. "Yeah, of course I remember. It was nice..."

"I know you feel bad but I feel like if I didn't tell you...you would've never figured it out on your own. It's okay, Peter. You didn't mean to...to hurt me. It just still hurts." She tilted her head up to look at him. "Be that guy who was dancing with me then but be that guy for everyone. It was nice, wasn't it? You know, though, you need music to dance, so... 

"That's true...I probably wouldn't have. I wanna make it up to you somehow." He smiled down at her. "I can do that I, uh... I didn't know you liked it. But yeah, you do. Uh, are you saying you...want to dance with me?" He asked, almost shyly.

"Who says I liked it?" She asked him, stiffening up a little, but she didn't pull away from him. "I like when you...act like the best version of you. I'm..." She paused and looked down quickly, not wanting to answer his question. "I'm not saying I want to, but I'm saying if you want to, we can because I don't...I don't mind dancing with you." It was the closest she could come to giving him the answer he wanted.

"I'd like that. I know it's not really your thing... but I'm glad you don't mind. I know you probably don't wanna do it in front of the others, so we can when we're alone if that's what ya want." He was still looking at her. "You know, uh... I'm sorry for kinda trying to push my feelings on you. That wasn't fair. I shouldn't have tried to make you feel a way ya probably don't feel."

"It isn't really my thing but I wouldn't mind doing it for you. I know it makes you happy. I like you better when you're happy." She murmured, smiling a little before looking up at him. "It's...it's okay, you didn't mean any harm by it. I...uhm...maybe I...okay. I'm trying to tell you something. I...I don't know I don't think I can tell you. I...I don't know how I feel Peter and that's just...it."

"I...appreciate that." He said, smiling back at her again. "Hey...it's alright okay? I get it, I mean, sorta, I think. I'm just happy we're finally good again. I mean, we are, right? 'Cause I...I missed you. A lot. I was starting to think maybe I ruined things with you completely....you know?"

"We're good. We're okay. We never really...weren't okay, you know? I couldn't stay mad at you forever. Even if I wanted to. You are a hard person to stay mad at. I uh...I missed you too." She mumbled, hugging him after a moment.

"Oh, uh... okay. Good... that's good. I'm glad I'm a hard person to stay mad at." He hugged her back, and closed his eyes enjoying the moment. "Ya know, I was kinda...annoyed with Rocket too, for making us talk. But, uh... I'm actually glad we did. I guess we really did need to."

Somewhere inside the ship, Rocket laughed.

"I'm still going to throw a rock at him, I think. Maybe. I wonder what he's laughing at." She murmured, turning to look over at the ship. "I mean, it's hard for me to stay mad at you but it's also not hard to make me angry. I think this is the first time we've hugged since Yondu..."

"I guess, but I haven't been the greatest guy to be around lately. I think it is, though...it's nice. I...I like hugging you."

"I don't think any of us have been the greatest to be around lately, except for maybe Rocket. He's been acting the most sensible. Groot's been leaving sap all over the ship again...and Drax is well, you know how Drax can be. He's been busy helping Mantis with her little plant witch garden thing she's got...and...so that leaves us with Rocket. We all have our things. I...I like hugging you, too." She whispered, resting her head against his chest now.

"I hate to admit, but yeah. Rocket has been. He hasn't even insulted me in awhile. It's good you like hugging me."

"Rocket has just been trying to mind his own business like he always does. Except for that loud laughing, he was probably laughing at us. Or something. I haven't heard him lauhh in a while. Yeah? It's good I like hugging you?" She murmured, smiling a little as she rocked against him sideways slowly. 

"I think he might've been laughing at me saying I'm glad he made us talk. Yeah, it is...I like your hugs. I, uh... like having you in my arms." He smiled. "Sorta feels like we're dancing right now." 

"I'm still going to throw a rock at his head. I hate being forced to talk. It's annoying. Talking is bothersome. I like your hugs too." Pressing her lips together, she squeezed her eyes shut tight and hoped that he wouldn't feel her heart start racing when he said he liked having her in his arms. She wouldn't tell him this, but she sort of liked being there. "Does it?" 

"I'm glad you like 'em. We... don't really get a lotta moments like this. It's nice when we get one. Yeah, it does feel like that..."

"Yeah, we don't get a lot of moments like this because we have friends who need our help. Now's your chance to be the good captain. Come on. Let's go up on the ship and talk to Rocket. You never thought it was important before. I can't be the only one running around the ship all day taking care of everyone. There's never enough time for me to ask Rocket how he's doing, you know...how's he actually doing since Yondu. Just because he doesn't talk about it doesn't mean it doesn't bother him. So...come on. It's time to act like the captain you want to be." She pushed herself away from him, climbing back through the ship's entrance. "Hey, Rocket. How's the Nav coming along?" She asked him, dropping in the seat beside him and staring over at him. "How are you doing? Like, how are you actually doing?" She asked seriously, leaning towards him.

His smile faded after she pushed away from him, already missing her. He followed her back onto the ship and watched her talk to Rocket for a moment before walking over to them. He still felt bad for not asking him how he was doing before. "Yeah...how are ya doing?"

“Hm?” Rocket looked up at them briefly, then back at the nav, which was showing minimal progress. “I’m getting there, yeah.” It wasn’t that he didn’t know what they were asking. But sometimes it was easier to play dumb. He could usually get away with more by doing that.

"That's great. It's still not fixed though, right?" Gamora asked, eyeing him curiously. This was going to take a bit more work, but she didn't mind the effort. "I'm sure you're doing such a great, fantastic, wonderful job fixing the Nav...who else is the smartest in the galaxy, smart enough to fix a Nav faster than you could? Nobody...and so, I know you'll forgive me for doing this...because we really need to talk." She stepped in front of the Nav and leaned down to block it off, staring Rocket right in the face. "Now. I'm going to ask you...again. How are you _really_?"

Rocket took a deep breath when she blocked his view and slowly set down his tools. “Right. This is payback, right? Because, for the record, it ain’t like I planned it so the two of you would talk. Whatever you think.” He sighed. “I ain’t getting out of this am I?”

"You're not, but I wouldn't call it payback. We needed to do that anyway. Just wanna know how you are."

"Why are you calling it payback? I'm asking how you are because I care and besides, like I told Peter outside, I'm going to chuck a rock at your head for payback. Don't know where or when I'll find one but when I do you better watch out. No, though, this isn't about one upping or paybacks. This is time for a serious family discussion. You aren't going to walk away from this this time."

Rocket grumbled something under his breath. “Fuck.” He ran a paw over his face. “Fine. I’m.... I mean, it was months ago, right? It’s no big deal.”

"NO!" She yelled at him, slamming her hand down on the side panel in front of Rocket, staring at him sternly. "No, it's not just no big deal...because I know it's a big deal to you." She softened up a little as she crouched down beside Rocket, looking over at him. "Come on, Rocket. We all have our issues. You can talk about it. It is a big deal..." She muttered again, shaking her head. "You don't want to talk about it and I get it, I really do, but we have to talk about it. Right Peter? Look...look, okay, listen. Listen, listen. I might have not known Yondu that well but I know he was sure as hell proud of you. He trusted you with Peter, and I know you two don't always see eye to eye but just think about it, okay? He trusted you with Peter. To take care of Peter and be his friend and while you've been doing a good job of taking care of him, nobody's been here for you and I want to change that. I'm going to change that. So...you can talk."

"Right, we do need to talk. I know we have our differences...a lot of 'em. But you're still my friend, and I know I haven't been a very good one to you, especially not recently, but...I wanna change that."

Rocket wiggled uncomfortably and looked everywhere except them. Gamora yelling and slamming her hand down had startled him but he tried to relax as she and Peter kept talking. “You two are real high and mighty, you know that?” He snorted. “Look, I didn’t even know him that well. The last year or so, I mean, ever since I met you guys have just been a lot, okay? It’s all new.”

"You keep telling yourself that but I know it doesn't help you sleep at night. It doesn't matter how well you knew him or not. The point is you got to know him, got to know him in a way that the rest of us didn't and that was taken from you. You can play it off any old way to make it seem like you're okay but I know deep down you're not. I'm not high and mighty, Rocket. I just want to help you! Why is that such a problem for you? I know all of this is new and overwhelming for you but...you can talk about it right now, and you have to. You can't hide it away forever. He wouldn't want you to."

"I'm not high and mighty either. I...just wanna help you too, dude. Why is that so hard to believe? How does caring about you make us high and mighty, dude?"

“Fuck.” Rocket turned his chair away quickly so they couldn’t see his face, and rubbed his paws over his eyes. But it wasn’t enough to hide that his shoulders were shaking, or his breath was uneven and ragged. “Fuck. Fuck. Why can’t you just leave me alone? My life was just fine before all of this.” He spoke barely above a hoarse whisper. “Without talking about feelings, or having people to care about, because once you care about people they go away.”

"You know it's not going to get any easier for you the longer you put off dealing with your feelings. It's time to rip the bandage off and talk about it. Get it out of the way now. Look, like I said I know it's a lot for you but please. I can't leave you alone because I actually care about you, Rocket! I don't know what else there is that I need you to understand! Your life was fine before Yondu, but your life hasn't been fine after him. You don't have to keep up this tough front with us, especially when we know that's not really who you are, at least not underneath. "People don't go away every time you care about them. Yondu only did because it was the only way he could think of to save Peter."

“I’m not—“ he took a breath. “I’m not _trying_ to do anything. Okay? No... tough fronts, or whatever. This is just. This is how it is. For me. I don’t know _how_ to talk about it.” Rocket just shook his head. “And you’re wrong. They do. They always do. And one day, you guys will too. I don’t know when. I just know.”

"Okay, fine. I believe that you're not trying to do anything. I also believe that you're trying to talk about it, and you just don't know how, but you'll never really know how to unless you try. So. Again...you really do have to talk about Yondu. Anyone with a pair of eyes and common sense can see that it's eating you alive." Sitting down in front of Rocket, Gamora shook her head. "No, Rocket. You're wrong. Just because everyone else who's ever been close to you before in your life has left doesn't mean we will. Look, I get it, okay? I...it's scary, okay? I know that. You know what else I also know though? You can't push me away. You can try to isolate yourself. Try to box yourself in. Try to cut me off, cut me loose, let me go, kick me when I'm down...I'm not going anywhere, okay? I'm right here and I'm not leaving. Where else would I have to go? It makes no sense for me to leave even if I wanted to. I have a sister who still doesn't really particularly like me and probably still wants me dead, an adoptive father who wants to wipe out half of all life, and...I have no home. I don't even have a home planet anymore because that was destroyed too...so please. I don't have any reason to leave and I never will. It's not a good enough reason for you to just shut out how you feel all the time."

"It wouldn't make sense for me to leave either. I mean... this is where my family is. That includes you too, in case ya didn't know, dude. No matter how much you insult me me."

Rocket couldn’t help but grin a little at that, making a face at Peter. But it faded. “Okay. Whatever. Yeah. Yondu dying fucked me up. More than I already am. But I mean, whatever. He was your dad, Quill. You knew him longer and you’re fine, so.” He shrugged. “I am too.”

"We're your family now, Rocket and we're not just going to leave you behind. I know that's a really new thing for you but it's the truth. It's not just whatever though. It matters. Yondu dying fucked you up, elaborate please. SEE! It's not whatever, sweeping it under the rug isn't going to make it go away Rocket! Stop comparing yourself and your struggles to everyone else here. Yeah he was Peter's dad but it doesn't matter how Peter is right now!" She growled at him, staring him in the eye. "You're not okay just because you say you are."

Rocket sniffled. “You know, Yondu lived his whole life thinking he’d never done a single good thing. He died trying to redeem himself for that.” He averted his eyes. “I don’t want that to be me.“

"That doesn't have to be you, Rocket...and for the record even if I don't like you sometimes, it still doesn't have to be you. Peter loves you. Right, Peter? Even if you two don't always get along. What are you talking about? Hey..." Gamora was leaning so close to Rocket her fingers were almost brushing against his fur but not quite. She knew he liked his space and she didn't want to overstep when trying to comfort him. "You do a lot of good things Rocket. You helped raise Groot. You fix the ship a lot...you help us know where we are, you help pilot the ship...you're always checking in and taking care of Groot which is a really huge help and...and you're the reason we were able to destroy Ego in the first place. If you never took those anulax batteries we would've never been able to destroy Ego, and he still would have eventually found Peter and just used him like a battery which he was planning to do for who knows how many years before we actually found him...or rather, he found us. That's not the point. The point is it was your idea to put the anulax batteries on his brain to destroy him. You don't have to be like Yondu, Rocket. You do do good things. You helped us with the first infinity stone. Don't you remember that? What do you mean you don't do anything good? You do so many great things."

"Yeah, I do. Even if it doesn't really seem like it... like when I called you a trash panda. And stupid. She's right, you do a lot of great things. I mean, if it hadn't been for you and...Yondu, I'd be a battery right now."

“Yeah you would be.” He smirked a little, but his heart wasn’t in it. He leaned forward, pushing his head toward Gamora’s hands, letting his fingers brush up against his fur. He closed his eyes and sighed. “I’m... you know, I’ve fixed every broken piece of machinery I’ve worked on. Except one.” His eyes flickered toward the nav, but it was quite obvious that wasn’t what he was talking about.

She could feel Rocket's fur up against her hand, and she smiled a small smile. "You do a lot to contribute to the team. You've earned your place here, Rocket. Like Drax said we aren't just a team...we're a family, and that means none of us get left behind, not even you. You didn't even let Yondu get left behind. Groot told me what you told him...he told me you considered him a part of our team, our family. You gave him that respect and that position and he died knowing he did something good. You gave him what he always wanted. You know, it's easy to fix broken machinery. You just take whatever tools you need, and you crank off the nuts and bolts, or you recalibrate the system...but feelings and...and hearts and emotions, things like that can't be fixed that way. They exist beyond that. You can't just tighten a screw to fix...something like that, but you belong with us, okay? You belong with me. I'll make sure nothing bad ever happens to you. Not that you can't perfectly take care of yourself but...you're a part of this family too. You're more than just a...a scientific experiment that is good at fixing technological problems. You're Rocket...and you're our friend."

Rocket opened his mouth to say— something, but no words came out. Just a choked sob, and he squeezed his eyes shut to keep tears from falling. All the pent up emotions from the last few months finally coming out. And he hated it. But he needed it, and he needed her- Gamora- there. He needed the comfort, the presence of other people, and for once in his life, the physical contact. It was the only thing stopping him from getting up and running away.

"It's okay to cry. You know that, right? It's not a sign of weakness. I know you've been through more than any of us will ever know, but that doesn't mean you can't cry. You can try here, It's a safe place. Nobody here is going to beat you up for doing it. Or laugh at you." Her voice sounded almost soothing as she ran her fingers gently over his fur in smooth, rhythmic circled. "It's okay. I know you hate it. I hate it too. Emotions suck...but you have to deal with them sometime. You can't have those cybergenetically taken out of you no matter what. I'll always be here for you, okay? I'm never going to let you run away with your own pain."

As she pet him, Rocket let himself relax and he leaned into her, wiping his face with a paw. He sniffled. “Okay,” he whispered. “Okay.”

"I'm always going to be with you, okay? You're our good boy. Come here Peter. Come a little bit closer, okay? Sit next to me, come on. He needs us right now." Her fingers carved smooth little patterns through Rocket's fur as she pet his head, using her other free hand to help wipe the opposite side of his face. "Don't worry buddy, I've got you. Like I said, we're all friends here." 

Peter sat down next to her. He wasn't sure if he should pet Rocket too or not. "I've ya too. I'm here."

Rocket looked up and smiled at both of them. “Iloveyaguys,” he mumbled, very quietly and very fast.

Peter smiled back at Rocket. "Love ya too, buddy."

"I love you too. Always will." Gamora smiled a little more, moving her hand down beneath Rocket's chin to scratch it playfully. "You know if you ever need to talk about anything, you can, and if you Don't talk about something but I know it bothers you...I'll make you talk, but It's only because I love you." She rubbed the top of Rocket's forehead and grinned. "You don't need to fix something that isn't broken."

“Shaddup,” he muttered, shoving Peter. But he was smiling. “Thanks. Or whatever.” Rocket nodded.

"I'm just sayin', dude." He said, rolling his eyes playfully. "But seriously. You can talk to me, too. I won't laugh. Or make fun of you."

"You're welcome, or whatever. You'll always have a place with us, okay?" Gamora stroked the sides of Rocket's face before looking over at Peter and elbowing him. "You'd better not laugh at him or make fun of him. Or...or I'll make fun of you, starting with this ship. Your ships are always filthy Peter." She snorted, her knee bumping up against his, and she realized just how close she was to him.

"I won't, I swear on my mother. But I mean, you can make fun of me anyway. Aw, c'mon. It's not that filthy."

"Okay. Swearing on your mother is a huge promise, but I'm sure Rocket is going to remember that." She picked up one of the raccoon's little paws in one hand and Peter's in her other, smiling. "Rocket, don't you think Quill's ships get really messy? I mean, you said it yourself. If you had a blacklight in your old ship oh my god...you said it would look like a painting. I CAN'T imagine this one is any better."

Rocket laughed quietly. “Yeah, well. It’s pretty gross. But it’s alright.” He sniffed and turned back to the panel. “I think this is almost done.”

"Yeah, yeah... I know. But I wouldn't say it that way if didn't mean it." He shoved playfully shoved her a little bit when she reminded him of what he said. "Well, ya got me there. I did say that. This one is...slightly better."

"See? Even Rocket is on my side. It's disgusting!" She stuck her tongue out at Peter, her eyes glinting. Gamora had a secret of course, but everyone on the ship had their own "thing", she supposed. Rocket's thing was with Yondu and she knew about it; she knew he must know about her thing with Peter too. The thing she never wanted to talk about but that was so apparently obvious to almost everyone else but her. "This ship is slightly better...not sure whether to be reassured by that or disturbed." Turning back to look over at Rocket, she tilted her head to one side. "Hey, after fixing that why don't you give yourself a break? You've been fixing things on the ship all day."

Rocket considered for a moment. He looked between the two of them, and nodded. "Yeah, okay. Quill can fly us out of here." He winked.

"Yeah, yeah. I can do that. I won't crash this time. I mean, not if I can help it anyway."

"Good." Rocket snorted and waved his hand at them. "Okay, leave. I gotta concentrate. Someone go find the others, make sure they didn't die or something?" He tapped away at the panel. Finally, the display rebooted and a little location pin dropped on the star chart. He zoomed in. "Alright," he said, more to himself than anyone else. "Back in business."

"How about you leave and go find the others, Peter?" Gamora asked him, eyeing him intensely. "Go be the captain. This is supposed to be your ship, so...come on. Go get Mantis, Drax and Groot. They can't have wandered off that far. Hopefully they didn't set fire to anything like last time when Groot set himself on fire." She swatted her hand at Peter to move along. There was no intention of leaving the ship for her. Sometimes Gamora just liked being around Rocket because he never forced her to talk if she didn't feel like it.

"Yeah, okay. I'll do that." Peter smiled when she swatted her hand at him. "Hopefully not. I'll be back before ya have a chance to miss me." With that, he left to go find the others.

Once Peter was gone, Rocket turned to look at Gamora, still standing next to him. He looked like he wanted to say something, but didn't. Instead he just gave her a half-nod of solidarity and stretched, slumping in his seat with eyes closed.

"Okay. It's not like I will miss you or anything! You're coming back anyways!" Gamora called after him, watching him go and folding her arms over her chest, sighing. Nodding over at Rocket, she walked over to the empty space alongside of him and sat down. She drummed her fingers over her knee and sighed. "Hey, can I ask you something? Why do you always look like you want to say something to me? If you have something to say, you can say it, you know. I'm waiting."

Rocket shrugged, not looking at her. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Yeah you do! Come on, Rocket! You're always looking at me like...like you know something I don't. So I want to know too! Spill it. Whatever it is, I won't be mad at you. I just want to know. Why won't you tell me?" She grumbled, eyeing him and scuffing the floor of the ship. "Did I do something wrong?"

"What? No!" Rocket sighed dramatically and opened his eyes, glancing over at her without turning his head. "No. You're just. Fuck, I dunno. You're good at... this stuff. Feelings. Being part of a group. And I know you ain't from some cushy family either, so why are you so much better at it than me?"

Gamora couldn't hold back a little laugh. "Oh Rocket. You think it's easy for me...thank you. That tells me at least I'm doing something right. I've never...I've never been really good at this stuff. Let's take a minute to really think about it. I've always been a part of group no matter where I was. Before I was with the guardians, I was with...Thanos." She pressed her lips together and cringed against the bitter taste his name caused in her mouth. "I've always had to take orders from others. You kind of get used to it after a while. The good of the team is the good of the whole, and not just the part of the team. I'm not much better at it than you are. I just hide the fact that I'm not. If I was so good at it like you think I am then talking about feelings wouldn't be a problem for me but it is. It's so uncomfortable, and I hate doing it. I guess maybe it has to do with the fact that at one point when I was little before losing my home planet, I had a kinda normal life. I had a family that loved me. Then I spent almost twenty years with some fucking fool who slaughtered everyone I loved and made me kill for a living too, all for the sake of the universe apparently. What I'm saying is...maybe it's easier for me to do things like comfort you because it's what I wished I had when I was younger. I had to be my own comforter growing up. That was hard."

"Yeah, well." Rocket's voice was quiet. "I wouldna known." He narrowed his eyes and looked out the window, watching for Peter and the others' return. "Is that all? I mean, not that I don't just love talking to you, but if this is as hard for you as you say, ain't you just exhausted from it?" His whiskers twitched with a hint of laughter.

"You wouldn't have known because it's not hard to pretend to be good at something. It's something you have to learn when you work for someone like Thanos. Adaptability. Sometimes that ability can save your damn ass, especially in my previous line of work. I...what do you mean, is that all?" Gamora asked, tipping her head to one side. "I am exhausted from it...but anything is better than being with Thanos and hey wait what's so funny?" She hadn't really realized it but the entire time she was talking to Rocket she was looking out the window waiting for Peter. 

"Nothing." Rocket smiled, and hopped down from the chair. He patted her leg as he passed, heading toward the back of the ship. "Good chat. I'm gonna go take a nap." He made a big show of yawning and stretching as he walked off.

"One day I'm going to learn why you laugh at nothing. Hey, Rocket? You can always talk to me. Have a good nap." She watched him yawning and stretching as he headed towards the back of the ship, and once she thought he was far enough, she snuck over closer to the window, scanning for Peter or Mantis or Drax or Groot. "Come on, Peter...where are you?" She was muttering the words to herself more than she was to anyone else who might have heard. Pacing back and forth for a little while, she thought about it and then picked up his Zune that Rocket had left down by the control panel. "I wonder how you work this thing..."

**Author's Note:**

> What did you guys think? Definitely different from what I usually write, but, you know. Hope you enjoyed!


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